First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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