and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
