I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
