Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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