life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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