How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
