she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
