North Korea, Best Korea!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
