But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
