you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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