Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
