She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Help me help you realize you are a moron
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
