Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
