'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
