I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My bed is full of blood and feathers
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
