phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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