quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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