It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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