i just wanna soil my oats bro
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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