i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
