I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
