You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
