do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
