Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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