what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
