This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
