My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
