For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
