Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
