Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
