all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
