just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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