nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
