at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
