I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
