Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
