I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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