Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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