wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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