That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
