he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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