I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
smell my finger.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
