I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
