I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
