Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
