Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
