you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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