I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
