UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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