Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
